Inner Thoughts
by Black Raider
Summary: He didn't get scared very often. At least, he assumed he didn't. Through all those life-or-death situations, including the one he was in now, there was always something that trumped out his fear. That "something" turned out to be his beloved children. Dear gods, he loved them so much. So much he would do anything to keep them alive.


Papa Smurf didn't get scared very often.

At least, he thought he didn't.

Now, he couldn't necessarily call himself the bravest Smurf in the world; mainly because his modesty wouldn't let him. But perhaps he didn't get scared very often because something always happened to trump out his fear. That "something" was usually his overpowering desire to protect his children.

My children. I love you so much.

So much, that Papa would do anything to help them. From making a potion to charging into battle, there were few (if any) limits to what Papa would do to keep his Smurfs alive. He believed they deserved to live long, happy lives. They deserved to live to be older than he was. 546 wasn't that old, even by Smurfs' standards.

And what a happy life he has lived.

_So why are you throwing it all away now?_

Because my children were in danger.

Yes, they were in danger yet again. And this time, the only way for them to live was for their father to die. So he let Gargamel capture him, despite the excruciating pain from the dragon wand's power. He let that mangy cat carry Gargamel's prisoner in his sharp teeth. He let that deranged wizard tie him to a tiny chair and shave away part of his beard to extract more essence for the wand.

_You're a wizard. Why didn't you fight back?_

Because he would've captured me again. And then my Smurfs would be in danger.

_They're already in danger._

But now I'm giving them time to escape.

He was glad. He was _glad _that Gargamel captured him instead of Gutsy or Brainy or Grouchy or Smurfette. The thought of his children suffering at the hands of Gargamel and his torture made Papa shudder. It sometimes gave him nightmares. But he could take it. He was strong; he could stay strong long enough for his family to escape. He knew Brainy could smurf the Blue Moon; for a Smurf so young, the sorcerer's apprentice had so much power within him.

I'm sorry, Brainy, that I will not be able to teach you anymore.

Because he was going to die.

...

He was going to die.

In the past, the statement never meant much. He had been through so many life-or-death experiences before this one. But now, when he was tied down and being taunted, the reality of it hit him like a two-ton boulder.

He was going to die.

He tried to be strong; he struggled against his bonds, as though to show Gargamel he wouldn't give up. When Gargamel transformed his machine and summoned those cages, the human wizard laughed in triumph. And, in defiance, Papa spat back, "You're a fool, Gargamel. My Smurfs are well on their way home by now."

At least, I hope so. Surely they wouldn't disobey me on such an important matter.

But if Gargamel was any good at reading faces and eyes, he would've seen Papa's terror. The elder Smurf stared at those terrible cages and heard the rattling of chains, the cruel laughter of his worst enemy, and the wails and cries from his beloved sons and daughter. They needed him; they were so scared and they needed their father to make it all better.

_What are you going to do if Gargamel finds a way back home? And then finds the other Smurfs? You won't be able to do anything. Because you'll be dead._

Dead.

For years, Papa knew that one of the main reasons Smurfs lived was because of their magical blue essence. And now Gargamel was going to extract every drop out of him until he was nothing but a husk. Maybe Azrael would have him for dinner. As these and even more terrifying thoughts filled his mind, Papa felt the coils of fear constrict his heart and throat, making his breathing come out quickened. He kept it quiet while Gargamel tinkered with the Smurfalator, but Papa was losing the battle of control over his fear.

_You're going to die here. And never see your Smurfs again._

No. I don't want to die here.

_You should've thought about that when you gave yourself up to Gargamel._

No. I want to be with my family. I want to see them.

_You'll never see them again. All because of your stupidity._

Papa mentally screamed in frustration, silencing that oh-so-annoying voice in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down.

I will not die….

No, that was a lie. He couldn't escape from here. Azrael hovered over him and Gargamel was coming to stuff him in the Smurfalator.

Then I will not die a coward.

So he continued to struggle, futilely, as Gargamel straps him into the little chair on the Smurfalator. He doesn't bother trying to hide his fear. But he doesn't cower. He'll die before he cowers to the likes of Gargamel.

Oh yeah….

"Yo! Gargamel! Come out and play!"

There's fear again, crushing Papa's entire body when one of his precious sons suddenly calls Gargamel out for a battle. He struggles furiously, but the leather straps keep him seated and the Smurfalator does its job.

"Smurfs! Run!"

Why, my little Smurfs, why? Why didn't you run away and abandon me?

_Why do you think? They love you._

They love him.

They love their Papa Smurf too much to care about their own safety.

At this, Papa has to cast a quick, wry smile. He raised his Smurfs well. "Never give up on family", he always told them.

Heh. Guess I taught them _too _well.

The fear remains, especially when Smurfette comes to his rescue and Azrael attacks her. But it turns out he didn't need to worry; Smurfette beat Azrael without so much as a hair out of place.

My dear little Smurfs. My dear, _brave _little Smurfs.

So he runs out to join the fight, Smurfette by his side. And new hope sparks in his chest. But the hope is temporarily snuffed out at the sight of Gargamel harming his children, grabbing them as they swung around in a whirlwind and dropping them unceremoniously into a bag.

How dare you? How _dare _you hurt my family!

Papa runs forward, hope replaced with fury, and leaps towards Gargamel while throwing a spear. His aim is good; but Gargamel is faster. He spun around and captured Papa with that blasted wand again.

No! I can't die here! Not with them watching!

Perhaps he should've stayed in the Smurfalator. Then he could've died without seeing his sons' terrified faces or hearing Smurfette's horrified screams. They wanted to help him, but the sight of their father in so much pain seemed to freeze them in the spot. He writhed in pain. He hated that his entire family had to watch him die.

I'm so sorry, my precious children.

But he's not afraid this time. Maybe it's because he's too weak to care. When Gargamel throws him into the air, he can't help but shout in surprise. He knows that if by some miracle Gargamel missed, he would hit the rocky ground and probably die on impact or slowly succumb to an excruciating death.

I really hope it's not the second one.

...

Papa Smurf didn't get scared very often.

But now, he was terrified.

Suddenly, the world went black, and Papa felt nothing.

...

"Papa. Are you okay?"

"Master Winslow…"


End file.
